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confirming her question as she turned back to him, bottle in hand.
There was only a third of the bottle left, and he had mental fingers
crossed that they had another tucked away somewhere. It was the only
truly decent single malt whisky they had, as far as he was concerned
anyway. Yes, it should be savoured, but he was not in the mood for
that tonight. Tonight he wanted a little forgetfulness. Even with that
need burning in his gut, he had no desire to drink any of their other
whiskies.
54 Violet Joicey-Cowen
Later on, after he was over halfway through the third Isle of Jura
bottle that they had tucked away along with the second, which he had
already run through, most of the customers had gone. The barmaid,
Kasey, had caught up with the backlog of dirty glasses while she
served the few who still wanted drinks and put the glasses away
again, talking to him while she had done so. She kept shooting him
increasingly doubtful looks with her dark-blue eyes whenever he
ordered another drink, not quite seeming to understand how he was
not flat on his back on the floor yet, in a drooling, drunken, and
probably puking mess.
You going to tell me what s got you drinking like you re on a
mission to empty my store cupboard?
Jake let out a harsh laugh. What else?
A girl?
Not exactly. He slowly swirled the glass in his hand, watching
the amber liquid eddy inside.
A guy then? At his look, she shrugged her slender shoulders and
carried on. Hey, it doesn t matter to me the contents of the pants you
are interested in.
Yeah, it s a guy, he admitted.
He did not really care these days who knew he was gay. After he
had left the military, it no longer mattered. His men knew. Hell, most
of them were gay, too. It was a shifter thing. A high proportion of
shifters were gay, and the ones that weren t had enough pups to make
up for those that were. He had been celibate though, since meeting
Daniel, and that was a hell of a long time. He did not ever talk about
his private life to anyone, not even his men. He couldn t take working
and living with their pitying looks every day if they knew he had
found his mate but would never have him. He did not have a clue why
Kasey had him spilling his guts.
I ve known him for ten years he shrugged loved him for
ten years. He s straight.
Another Way to Hide 55
That s tough. Her words could have been taken as sarcastic, but
her expression was sympathetic and her tone understanding. She
spotted someone approaching the bar who had to have been a regular
because before he even got there she got three pint glasses down and
started to fill one with lager and another with bitter, and she had the
third waiting by the lager font. Does he know how you feel?
No, and he s off tonight, seeing her again. Jake told Kasey what
he knew of Daniel and Trace. He had never laid eyes on the woman
before, but heard all about her from his men.
Wait, did you said her name was Trace? He nodded and
watched as she switched out the glasses under the still-flowing lager
font with smooth, practised ease. I know her. She runs that hotel in
Abanwyth, on Parkenmere, she said, naming the nearest lake and one
of the touristy villages on its shores.
The village was filled with little cafes and shops that sold ice-
lollies, rock candy, kids fishing nets on sticks, and little gifts.
Great, Jake muttered, throwing back the latest drink in front of
him, which had contained the last of the third bottle of Jura. Bet
she s really nice, too!
I don t know her personally, only seen her a couple of times, but
I know who she is.
Is she as gorgeous as they say? Everything in him screamed at
him to shut the hell up. He did not need to know more about her, but
he could not help asking.
Yes. Kasey still looked at him with that very understanding
sympathy, and what Jake thought was a moment of shared pain before
she cleared her expression. I m sorry, it might not be what you want
to hear, but she really is.
Two hours later Jake slowly climbed the stairs up to his very
empty room. He had stopped off on the way in to pick up a bottle
from the bar in the dining room. The last hour spent walking around
outside after the pub had shut was threatening to sober him up, not
56 Violet Joicey-Cowen
that he had found much forgetfulness so far tonight, but he was plenty
willing to keep trying until he fell asleep.
Daniel was walking away from him into the mist. His body waved
and shimmered like a mirage in the desert. He followed as quickly as
he could, but it felt like he was wading in tar, which was clinging to
him, trying to suck him down and away from Daniel. Just when he
thought he had lost him, and his heart began to pound and the
darkness inside him started to rise up and take over, the mist cleared.
Daniel was standing there, his arms around a woman with long, dark
hair, whose arms were around Daniel in return, crimson nails
digging into his naked back. As he watched them kiss, he cried out in
protest, but no sound left him and they were too wrapped up in each
other to notice. Blood started to drip, then trickle, then pour down
Daniel s back. The longer they kissed, the older and thinner Daniel s
body started to look. He aged faster and faster, the life draining out of
him. Help me Jake! Jake twisted and tugged at his feet, desperate
to get to him. No! he shouted, managing to force the sound out this
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