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Filip continued. What if I don t want to talk to animals? I don t even like animals.
You like horses.
Horses were a way to get around, a way to gain advantage. A way to kill the enemy. He wiped his
sleeve over his brow. Now horses expect me to be their friend, to care about what they want.
And do you care?
Yes. But I don t want to.
What do you want, Filip?
I don t know! He lowered his voice and kept brushing the pony s flank. I don t know.
Your Spirit can help you figure that out.
If I get Bestowed. His lips twisted the word into something distasteful. But then I m trapped forever.
You might not have a choice of gifts, but you can choose how to use them. Even after the Bestowing.
She went back to her pony and removed the riding blanket. When Crow gave me my full powers, I
thought my trials were over. Then I found out I had to die.
He stopped brushing. Die? As in, dead?
To lose my fear of death, I had to experience it. Or so my mentor, Coranna, claimed.
What did you do?
I ran away. She picked up the currycomb he d tossed aside, then stood and met his gaze. But I didn t
get far.
He nodded. They tracked you down.
No, I came back. It was my choice. I froze to death on Mount Beros, then Coranna brought me back
to life. Third-phase Crows can do that, though there s always a price.
Weren t you afraid you might not come back?
Of course. I had to trust in Coranna and trust in Crow. She saw him stare at her with new respect, as if
she d aged twenty years before his eyes. But I d spent my whole life believing that the Spirits want
what s best for us. You don t have that faith.
He shook his head. My magic has brought me nothing but lost sleep. The thought of spending the rest of
my life like this& He stretched back his shoulders, sighing, and stared up at the rafters. Does it get
easier?
The lie sat in her throat, waiting to soothe his fears. It gets harder.
I figured. His mouth tightened, then relaxed as he looked at her. Thank you for being honest. You re
the first.
I don t like secrets. And you need the truth to make your decision about the Bestowing.
I ve already decided not to do it. He turned back to the piebald mare and resumed his vigorous
brushing. For now.
12
A lanka cracked open the small square window, bracing herself against the bitter air, and waited for
Damen to appear.
Most nights when it wasn t snowing, he would smoke his pipe on the bridge between her house and
Coranna s. At first the pungent scent had assaulted Alanka s sensitive nose, but over the past month she
had come to welcome the rich aroma of burning leaves.
Usually she left him alone in these moments, for his gaze seemed to wander to some distant internal
realm. Perhaps he was thinking of the family he d left behind, which she knew little about, only that he
had parents and a sister in Velekos, and that the mother of his child wasn t even his mate, much less his
wife. Though Alanka often shared meals with Damen and Coranna, she hadn t had a moment alone with
him since his arrival. The dinner conversations could have veered toward the personal, but despite his
amiable nature, something about Damen told her those parts of him were off-limits.
Tonight Alanka would cross that boundary, even if it burned her. It had been too long since she d felt
anything for a man but indifference. If she could connect with Damen, maybe she d feel normal again.
She undid her braid and drew a brush through the soft waves.
Damen stepped onto the porch. He shook the heavy snow off a pine branch hanging over the rope
bridge, then moved to the center of the bridge, pulling the muskrat-skin coat tighter around his chest. His
pipe was already lit, and he leaned against the railing to smoke.
The moonlight, nearly obscured by the trees but reflected by the fallen snow, lit Damen with a soft blue
glow. As he drew the first inhale of the pipe, his sharp brown eyes closed in relief, and the tension flowed
off his face like water over a rock.
Alanka hesitated. She should probably leave him alone, and leave herself alone while she was at it.
She shut the window and opened the door.
Damen jumped when he heard the latch click, then gave her a genuine, though distracted, smile. Alanka,
hello. I didn t hear you at first.
Wolf stealth. Didn t mean to startle you.
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