[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
gone day in and day out, you brought my Davey to me. So, yes& we re even. If anything, I still owe
you, he laughs.
I heard about Davey, or David, through the gang. He is my replacement at Corps Security.
Apparently, according to Melissa, not too long after he started, he and Sway began a relationship that
has only grown since. I m glad that he s happy he deserves to be happy.
I ll be in the lobby waiting, okay? I question, ready to get off the phone and on my way.
Toodles! Sway is on the way to save the day, he giggles into the phone before
disconnecting.
With a heavy heart, I grab a piece of paper and write Maddox a note.
True to his word, Sway didn t waste any time getting to me. He loaded up my few belongings
into his car and we were on our way. He must have come straight from home because he s dressed in
simple even if they are hot pink sweats and a tee. His wig is absent, giving me one of those rare
glimpses at him without his public persona.
Sway& uh, do you really, like, sweat glitter or something? I ask when I notice that his
floorboards are sprinkled with golden glitter.
I ve always thought it was hilarious how obsessed this man is with gold glitter. First, he
painted the sidewalk in the complex that his salon and Corps Security are housed completely in it.
Then the guys would randomly run into him and his glitter-throwing ways, coming into the office and
dusting it off all over the floors. I can t even remember how many times I had to clean that junk up.
Regardless of why, it always seems to make everyone smile.
I probably should by now, he laughs.
Not wanting to be alone with my thoughts, I tell him which hotel to take me to and ask, So
what started all of this craziness? I laugh.
He s quiet for a moment, so unlike Sway, so I turn my attention back out the window.
It all started when I was maybe fifteen, sixteen hell, I don t know. Back then, I was still
begging for my parents to stop calling me Dilbert, he laughs. My parents are both preachers, he
says, shocking me. My eyes widen and I jerk my head in his direction. Oh, that got your attention,
didn t it, sweetness? Yeah, I was a black man born in the Deep South, gay as it gets, with two
preachers for parents. It probably couldn t have gotten worse for me. They ignored me the best they
could but refused to let& well, Sway out. I had to be Dilbert when anyone was around. He pauses
and I settle into the silence around me.
The only time I was really happy was at Sunday school, at school, or drama class. The art
supplies oh, girlfriend. You should have seen how much I could make a simple piece of
construction paper shine like a queen! I guess, in a way, between art projects and costumes for
drama, the glitter became my lifeline to keeping my happiness about me. We all have that thing, you
know? That one thing that is calming for us. The one thing that, even when your world feels hollow,
can make you feel whole. So, as silly as it is, mine is gold glitter. It s my happy.
I wipe a wayward tear from my cheek and smile softly at him. You re pretty awesome. You
know that?
He laughs and shakes his head.
I mean it! Do you know how many times the guys would be in a terrible mood, go out and
meet with a client, only to come back and be on the receiving end of your glitter throwing? Every
single time, they would come back into the office and seem lighter. It was almost like a mood
cleaner. You toss some of that stuff in the air and it s like the people around you are helpless to not
feel a little of your happy.
He pulls into the hotel and parks, turning in his seat to look at me. One thick and manicured
hand comes up and smooths my hair down. I smile at him and enjoy the lightness of the moment.
Until he speaks.
And pray tell, my sweet little honey pot, what is your happy? His hand leaves my head and
reaches out to pull one of my cold ones into his hold, enveloping it between his own.
What? I ask faintly.
You heard me. What is it that calms you? Makes your hollow whole again? His voice is
soft, his eyes searching without judgment even though he knows the answer.
I don t have one anymore, Sway. That s as honest as I can be. I never had Maddox, as
much as I had hoped during our time at the cabin. He s the uncatchable.
Oh, you sweet child. You have a happy, and as soon as you both let go of the bullshit, you ll
have that happy together.
You talk in riddles, you crazy man, I laugh mirthlessly.
I talk the truth. I ve seen a lot of pain in my life, Emmy-Rose. I know another hurting soul
when I see it, and that man is hurting. You don t just forget that instantly. You ve fought for him, and
while I admire your strength, it s time for you to let him fight to believe in you and that love& that
happy.
Easier said than done.
He smiles, his bright, white teeth almost glowing in the dim interior of his car. Mark my
words, he knows what he can have, and one day soon, you re going to wonder what it s like to
breathe without that tall glass of hotness on your toes. I suspect you won t wait much longer either.
He leans forward and kisses my forehead.
I love you. You know that?
Of course I do, darlin . Everyone loves Sway, he says with a laugh.
I climb out of the car and meet him around the back, grabbing my stuff from the trunk and
placing it on the luggage cart. His arms are around me before I can even say thank you and goodbye.
Chin up, buttercup, he whispers in my ear, and I feel a rush of calming peace settle over me.
A few hours, one dead cell phone, and room service later, I m ready to call it a night. I have
plans to spend tomorrow figuring out where the hell I go now. Do I stick around, continue this tiring
battle of the wills with Maddox? Or do I work on finding a new path a path without Maddox and
the family I love here?
I know I m stupid to continue to find something worth fighting for in Maddox. He s made it
clear that he doesn t want me or better yet, that he does but he can t, whatever that means. I might
never get through to him, but I really feel like if I don t try at least one more time with everything I
have in me I ll regret it for the rest of my life.
He needs someone to believe in him, and I m guessing he s never had that. He needs someone
who never gives up on him, since I m guessing that s all he s been used to the vast majority of his
life.
He needs his happy, as Sway calls it.
And I just hope it s me.
I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow with the determination that I can do this. I just
have to toughen up a little, chin up, and YOLO.
That s it, buttercup.
Chapter 17 Maddox
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]